


Annie Week 2018

by chenziee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Annie Week 2018, Canon Compliant, F/M, I'm begging you here, Levi wisdom of the day in one chapter, Light Angst, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Mentioned Springles, Minor Eren/Levi - Freeform, Reincarnation, THERE'S A KITTEN, bring her back Isayama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 13:04:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14081529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chenziee/pseuds/chenziee
Summary: A few glimpses into Annie's life from her trainee days up until post-manga events.





	1. A Little Lost, A Little Alone

**Author's Note:**

> A compilation of the 6 drabbles/oneshots I wrote for [Annie week](https://annieweek.tumblr.com/). All of these happen in the same timeline so they are connected in a way, but do not follow each other directly.
> 
> ~~The kitten is the most important part.~~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1: Strengths & Weaknesses

“One more time!”

Annie looked back over her shoulder and down at Eren where he lay sprawled on the ground. Raising an eyebrow, she asked, “Do you really want to get your sorry ass handed to you _again?_ ”

She watched as Eren clumsily scrambled to his feet, his eyes shining with fiery passion which Annie couldn’t understand. “I will get it eventually,” he grumbled under his breath, taking up a fighting stance, apparently all ready to go again.

Taking in his dishevelled appearance – messy hair, uniform dirty and crumpled from him being thrown to the ground again and again – Annie finally shook her head before turning around to face the boy properly. She continued looking at Eren impassively, a hand resting on her hip, while he only clenched his fists tighter. They stared at each other for a few tense momenets, expressionless blues to determined greens, until Annie sighed deeply. “First of all, your stance is all wrong.”

Eren blinked a few times, obviously taken aback, and only succeeding in getting out a confused, “Huh?”

Annie rolled her eyes, walking over to stand in front of the taller boy. “Your stance. If you keep your legs this close to each other, I can just push you a bit and you’ll fall on your ass.”

Eren frowned at that, lowering his fists slightly, and glancing towards his feet. In that moment, Annie moved, graceful and fast, grabbing Eren’s shoulder and kicking his feet from under him at the same time, sending him right back to the ground without much effort.

“Second of all, _never_ let your guard down.”

* * *

When she left the mess hall that same evening, tasting the fresh spring air, Annie thought to herself how she really didn’t want to return to the girls quarters just yet. Going back there would mean people and girl talk and pretending she was _alright_ and she just wasn’t ready to deal with that.

She briefly considered just sitting right there on the steps for a while but the sound of conversation getting louder behind her made her take quick steps in the opposite direction of the dormitories and in to the darkness behind the main building. She just didn’t want to see anyone. Not right now. Now when she could feel the sharp sting of guilt in her chest.

She didn’t know why she was like this today. She could usually suppress – or pretend to suppress – the negative thoughts so well, so perfectly. Shielded by her poker-face and the distance she kept from everyone. But today...

Today she needed to be alone.

Maybe it was because of the training session with Eren that afternoon. Facing someone who was so dead set on fighting and revenge – a revenge against _her_ no less...

She honestly didn’t understand the boy. Why was he so ready to fight? So ready to offer himself to death? And most importantly... why did he make her feel like she wanted to run as far from him as she could and like she wanted to help him with his suicidal mission, both at the same time?

And the look in his eyes, the determination there, it scared her. It scared her and made all her insecurities and guilt and fear burst out and overwhelm her.

She hated him. Hated the emotions he caused within her.

Annie stopped abruptly in her tracks when she realized that she was breathing too fast and too shallow. Hyperventilating. She raised a hand to rub at her face in an effort to calm down but paused again when she felt something wet. Had she been crying without even realizing...?

“Damn it all,” she cursed quietly. She wanted to scream and punch and kick something until it breaks or she falls over in exhaustion. She wanted to let it all out _somehow._ Didn’t know how.

She took two, three deep breaths upon noticing her breathing was getting too fast again. This wasn’t fair. She never asked for this life. She never asked for this power, this curse. This _pain._

Just as she was about to punch the nearest wall in frustration, a soft sound came from somewhere further down in the darkness and she froze, all her senses immediately on high alert. But she couldn’t see anything off and the only sound was one of her squad mates talking and laughing somewhere on the illuminated grounds in front of the dormitories.

She must have imagined it.

Before she could even finish the thought, there was another sound, now clearer and louder, coming from somewhere around the empty cardboard boxes piled up next to the back door leading to the kitchen, and Annie relaxed.

It was a quiet whine; a high-pitched, pathetic whine that made Annie’s lips twitch slightly. She slowly and carefully walked around the pile, crouching down a bit away and reaching a hand out in an inviting gesture.

Nothing happened for a few moments but then, a little head popped out from a small opening at the bottom of the pile, sniffing at Annie’s hand tentatively, then retreating a back a bit again. Annie only continued smiling gently, holding her position patiently until the tiny calico kitten came out from its hiding spot. Soon, it started to rub itself on Annie’s hand, purring loudly all the while, and the girl felt all her anxiety and fear melt away. Picking the kitten up into her arms, she sat down on the ground with her back against the wall, uncaring she would get he clothes dirty. The kitten meowed quietly, peering up at Annie with it’s wide, beautiful green eyes, as if asking what was wrong.

Annie shook her head a bit before giving it to the urge and slumping a bit, hiding her face in the kitten’s fur, making it tap its little paw on Annie’s cheek in an effort to comfort its new friend, making Annie let out a chuckle. “We’re both just a little lost and alone, aren’t we?”

The kitten only meowed in response.


	2. Good Person Bad Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Allies & Enemies

Coming face to face with Armin in Stohess on the day when the Scouts were supposed to come through on their way to the capital, Annie immediately knew something was wrong. Armin’s words and reasoning sounded logical, sounded genuine, but Annie knew. She saw it in his eyes. He was begging her to help them but not to save Eren. He was begging her to tell him it was all a lie. That he was wrong and she was on their side. That  it was all just a misunderstanding and that she was not a bad person. Not to him.

Looking down and playing with her ring in a nervous habit, Annie so wished she could grant his request. That she could stay a good person.

But she hadn’t been one since the start, had she? Even before they met, they were enemies. She was one of the people who caused the destruction of his hometown and indirectly, the death of his grandfather. She was never a good person.

But she wanted to be. She wanted to be his good person. She didn’t know why but the idea of Armin hating her was making her chest hurt. Making her feel all the weight of the lives she took only a few days ago.

Annie still didn’t really know why Armin’s wasn’t one of those people . She knew she should have killed him out there. She knew he was dangerous, dangerous to their mission and dangerous to her. But seeing him, so small in her monstrous, titan hand and looking at her with those scared, wide eyes, she didn’t even think about killing him. It just wasn’t an option to her. She couldn’t imagine killing him now either, even knowing this was her final judgement.

It was the end and there was no running away. A good person and a bad person, ally and enemy. This was the moment where it would all be decided.

So she put her ring on and nodded.

No escape.

She would become a bad person and there was nothing else she could do. She was the enemy now. She was the bad person.

No matter how much she wished she could be a good one.


	3. One Promise and Two Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: Promises & Dreams

Leaning over the railing, Annie stared off into the distance and over the horizon. She still couldn’t believe she was doing this, that this was actually happening. 5 years ago, when she fought and lost to Eren in Stohess, when she hid herself in her crystal in a last effort to save herself, she didn’t believe she could ever go back home. She had thought it was the end for her.

But here she was on her way back to Marley.

But it was not as a warrior. No. She was returning there to destroy the very place that created her, together with the very devils she was supposed to be killing, and playing support for the Founding titan she was supposed to retrieve. When you thought about it, it was really quite funny.

“What are you thinking about?”

Annie suppressed a jolt at the quiet voice that came from behind her. She didn’t hear anyone coming over the sound of the waves crashing on the side of the ship the Scouting Legion was using to cross the sea, but there Armin was, right next to her. Annie looked at him for a moment before turning away again. “Nothing much,” she mumbled as she rested her chin on her hands folded over the railing.

Armin leaned on the railing as well, looking down at the girl critically. “It doesn’t look like it. Are you really okay coming with us?”

Annie snorted, turning her head to the side to shoot Armin a look. He only continued watching her with concern, and Annie sighed. “Yes. I never gave a damn about Marley and the warriors. I just wish I could keep my promise.” She finished with a crooked, humourless smile, glancing back over the horizon but not really seeing it.

“Promise?” Armin prompted gently, giving the girl his full attention.

“To my father,” Annie explained. “He was the one who trained me and pushed me to try to become a warrior. But the day before we left for Paradis, he apologized and made me promise to come back home.”

Armin nodded in understanding. Sure, Annie would be coming home but it was quite possible she would never see her father again. She was on the “wrong” side of the war now after all. “I’m sorry,” Armin said quietly, hanging his head, but Annie only shook her head.

“No,” she sighed, pushing her hair behind her ear. “I knew what it would mean when I decided to accept your offer. And I still stand by that decision. But I’m just a normal, weak person who can’t throw away her childish attachments.”

“You’re not weak, Annie.” Armin replied with certainty, making her look at him doubtfully. Armin only smiled gently. “You’re not weak for doing what you feel is right. You’re not weak for choosing your own path. And you’re definitely not weak for loving your father.”

Annie blinked at him a few times, before she started laughing. A quiet chuckle at first, but soon, she was laughing out loud and gasping for breath. Armin frowned, confused as to _why_ she was suddenly laughing so hard. He couldn’t say he hated the sound, however.

“You really are incredible, Armin,” Annie said softly when she calmed down and Armin only cocked his head to the side, now confused even more.

“Well, you are incredible yourself so,” he muttered awkwardly, making Annie snort with amusement again.

They stayed silent for a while, just watching the sun set slowly. They would arrive in Marley in the middle of the night when their infiltration would commence. There was no telling what would happen after that. If anyone would even survive. After all, there were five titan shifters and a whole, fully equipped army on the other side, while their only cards were 3 shifters and the element of surprise.

Annie only hoped Commander Hanji’s weapons and Armin’s strategy were enough to at least get Eren I-do-what-I-want Jaeger back out of the mouth of the enemy where he ran off by himself because “there was no time”. Annie felt that even if they didn’t succeed in the main mission, just securing Eren could be considered a success. Annie still didn’t understand why she felt like the idiot could change the flow of the world. He was stupid and impulsive but there was just something about him that... spoke of change to Annie. And she wanted to believe things could change. That she could be free. That all of them could be free.

“What do you want to do when all this is over?” she asked after a long while, her low voice almost drowned out in the sound of the waves.

“You mean after our mission or... after everything?” Armin replied just as softly.

“After everything. Do you have something you want to do? A dream or something?”

Armin hummed, considering his answer carefully. “Well, I still really want to see the world. All of it. I saw the ocean now but I want to see all the other stuff too. The, what did you call it?” He paused to think back to the many conversations about the outside world he had had with Annie over the past four years. “The deserts and lava? I just want to see it all.” He finished with a forlorn tilt to his voice, like he didn’t really believe he could ever see any of it even if Paradis triumphed and Annie couldn’t blame him. Becoming a titan shifter was a death sentence no matter who won the war. They had thirteen years to live and that was that. No buts, no exceptions. It was a cruel fate for a person like Armin.

A beat of silence passed before Armin returned the question. “What about you. What are you going to do?”

Annie stayed silent for a long while. Armin knew she heard him, however, because her expression turned a bit pained. So he gave her time, letting her mull over her thoughts, until finally, she spoke up, “I only have two more years to live Armin. There is nothing else for me after this.”

Armin flinched at the reminder, as well as the careless tone with which Annie said it. It sounded like she was at peace with it but Armin could here there was underlying fear there as well. So much fear and regret and resignation. He hated the tone.

“You are allowed to dream, Annie.”

Annie huffed out a laugh, glancing up at him, “What would be the point?”

“It’s hope,” Armin shrugged, looking Annie deep in the eyes with as much sincerity as he could.

“There is _no_ hope for me,” Annie said clearly, obviously convinced of what she was saying. “I only want to be rid of all this. The only thing I want is a quiet life, a life that would fit a weak person like me. But I can’t have that. Not anymore.” She finished in a defeated whisper and Armin’s heart ached for the petite girl next to him.

“I will make sure you can.”

The two locked eyes briefly before they simultaneously leaned in to kiss each other clumsily, desperately for the first time just as the sun finally set.


	4. To Pledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: Lies & Honesty

“I pledge my allegiance to the Marley nation. I will offer my life to serve the empire; I will destroy the devils of Paradis and never allow any subjects of Ymir to stand above their rightful place.”

Those were the words all warrior cadets had to say every day.

A pledge that had always been the same ever since the warrior program began, and would always be the same until it ended. Constant and ever present. It even hung on the wall of every classroom, every gym.

Some of the cadets come to believe those words after repeating them for long enough, while others believe them even before hearing them for the first time. Like Reiner, for example. He always used to be so earnest in his loyalty to Marley and hatred for the inhabitants of the Paradis Island. As if he didn’t realize he was one of those “devils” he was pledging to destroy.

It had always made Annie sick to listen to him. The pledge itself made her sick.

“I pledge my allegiance to the Marley nation. I will offer my life to serve the empire; I will destroy the devils of Paradis and never allow any subjects of Ymir to stand above their rightful place.”

Again and again and again, lying through her teeth without batting an eyelash. It seemed so normal, yet it still made her sick. It made her sick back then and it did so even more now, years later.

It’s been nine years since she last uttered those words – ever since the Paradis Island Operation started – yet she still would be able to say them perfectly if she wanted to. And that in itself made her sick, too.

The lie was ingrained so deep in her that she sometimes really did believe she was just a weapon to be used, replaced after outliving its use, and hated in the meantime. Hated even by her own self.

But that was just it. She wasn’t a thing; she was person. Just a normal, weak person, who’d rather go with the flow and spout lies everyday of her life than stand up for what she believed and knew to be true.

“I pledge my allegiance to the Marley nation. I will offer my life to serve the empire; I will destroy the devils of Paradis and never allow any subjects of Ymir to stand above their rightful place.”

Every word was bullshit. She had never had any duty or debt towards Marley and no reason to pledge herself to them. Nothing she had ever done in her life was for the sake of the damn country. She had never cared about any supposed devils anywhere and neither had she cared about Ymir. She just wanted to survive as best as she could. So she rattled off her pledge, never intending to keep it.

But now...

Now she was walking down the streets of her hometown for the first time in nine years, wearing a new uniform, and a new “brand”. Black instead of brown, wings instead of a star.

Offering her heart instead of pledging allegiance.

And after twenty long, miserable years full of lies, while pressing her fist to her chest at Commander Hanji’s final orders, Annie could finally say there was honesty in her salute.


	5. We Could All Die Anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: Certainty & Change of Heart

It had been three days since the Survey Corps had returned to Paradis from Marley and things were finally calming down. Meetings were had, the memorial for the fortunately few casualties was done and over, and the survivors finally had the time to sit down, relax, and talk to each other casually without worry for having to run off in the middle of the conversation.

Which for Annie meant lurking quietly through the headquarters by herself, trying to avoid everyone. People were still wary around her even after four years with them, and she herself didn’t feel right forcing her company on them. It wasn’t like she was a very social person anyway.

It also meant she had all the time she wanted to think. Think about her actions, now and before, think about the future, think about the people she had lost and those she had now. And about Armin.

They haven’t talked since the kiss they shared on the ship while on their way to Marley. In part, that was because there was no time for anything that minor, but also because Annie was avoiding him. Avoiding the conversation they obviously needed to have. Because she didn’t want to break his heart.

Or break her own heart.

Because she was certain there couldn’t be anything between them. It was wrong and there was no point. She was going to die in two years and then Armin would be alone anyway. Even if she wanted to date him, he would soon remember who she was. That she was the Female titan. She was directly _and_ indirectly responsible for the deaths of many, many Paradisans. She had been his enemy, even if they were on the same side now.

As she walked through the castle, lost in thought and not really paying attention to her surroundings, she didn’t notice at first that this new corridor wasn’t as deserted as all the others were. Only when a growl of “ _Fuck_ , I missed you” followed by a low moan reached her ears did she freeze in her tracks, her head snapping up with wide eyes, staring at the scene before her, just in time to watch in horror as Eren Jaeger lifted Captain _fucking_ Levi up like he weighed nothing and slammed him against the wall. The smaller of the two immediately wrapped his legs around Eren’s waist, while Eren himself latched on to his neck.

It was exactly like the one time Annie witnessed a car crash when she was ten and still in warrior training. Just like back then, she couldn’t look away even though she wanted to, paralyzed, her eyes only widening more when the Captain tangled his fingers in Eren’s finally washed, long hair to yank his head up so he could plunge his tongue inside his mouth instead. Eren didn’t even pause, only pressed himself closer and started pulling Levi’s shirt up to slide his hand under it, feeling the warm skin of his sides. Neither of them was holding back at all, both obviously knowing exactly what they were doing, as if this was what they did all the time.

And it probably was, Annie’s mind supplied.

It was only when Eren started grinding into Levi that a strangled noise left Annie’s throat, making the two finally notice her.

They both stopped what they were doing, slowly pulling away from each other to look in her direction. It took a long, incredibly awkward moment of the three of them staring at each other until Levi moved first, tapping Eren on his shoulder lightly. Complying with the silent command, Eren took a step back, setting the Captain carefully back on the ground. As soon as he was on his own two feet again, Levi started fixing his shirt and hair casually, looking as if getting caught making out with a subordinate was a completely normal, regular occurrence.

Eren and Annie stared at each other for second longer, but with the spell broken, the whole situation was getting unbearable for Annie. She cleared her throat and pushed her hair behind her ear, finally managing to turn her eyes away. “I’ll just... pretend I didn’t see anything,” she muttered, her voice thankfully sounding as cool and unaffected as it always did.

“No need, everybody who matters probably knows by now anyway,” Levi remarked almost before she finished her sentence.

Annie looked up at the man, but he only gazed back at her expressionlessly, so she looked Eren for confirmation. He only shrugged and Annie blinked a few times before she shook her head and turned on her heel to leave. It was their business and if Mikasa and the Commander didn’t mind... This whole thing was awkward enough as it was either way.

“Annie, wait.”

Annie paused at Eren’s voice, turning her head to the side slightly to indicate she was listening.

Eren, understanding her wordless prompt, continued. “Are you avoiding Armin?”

The question made Annie turn back around to glare at Eren with hard eyes. “So what if I am? Isn’t it my choice who I chose to spend time with?”

Out of the corner of her eyes Annie saw Captain Levi roll his eyes and fold his arms across his chest, while Eren only sighed. “It might be your choice but Armin is my best friend and your making him terrified that he did something wrong.”

Annie flinched, looking away. She didn’t mean to make him feel bad, she only wanted to protect them both. “Can I ask you two something?” she said after a while of thick silence.

Eren and Levi exchanged a glance, before they gave Annie their full attention. “What is it?”

“Why... How can you be together?”

Levi narrowed his eyes at her dangerously while Eren cocked his head to the side before he spoke up, his voice flat and slightly offended. “I don’t follow.”

“I mean, you’re a shifter. You’re going to die in a few years. Why would you complicate everything with a relationship? Why would anyone want to date you?” She elaborated, starting to feel slightly frustrated when she notices Eren’s lips twitch slightly, despite his eyes not mirroring the movement.

Levi, too, huffed out a humourless laugh that sent chills down Annie’s spine. “What the hell kind of people do you think we all are here?” he asked then, making Annie frown in confusion before he went to explain with a sigh. “We are the Survey Corps. We’re all fucking nut cases. We’ve literally just returned from declaring a war on the whole goddamned _world_. A world we still know next to nothing about. We could all die tomorrow for all we know. Who the fuck cares if you do it on pretty schedule or because a titan took a shit on your head.”

“Titans don’t shit, Levi.”

“Shut the fuck up, Eren."

* * *

Leaving Armin’s room that evening, a soft smile was playing on her lips. Just a few hours before, she was certain she didn’t want this. And she still wasn’t sure it was a good idea but she couldn’t deny there was something to Captain Levi’s words, eloquently put or not. It was true they could all die any day in this war, so there wasn’t really a point in holding back.

They could try being happy at the very least, even just for a little while, right?


	6. Happy Birthday (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6 & 7: Reincarnation AU & Happy Birthday, Annie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very special thank you to [Aqua](https://ackermission.tumblr.com/) for being incredibly sweet and supportive and saving this fic from being sent into the bin.

Annie woke up with a jolt, frantically looking around, searching for a threat that wasn’t there. Her room was as quiet and empty as ever, safe for the young calico cat meowing at her from the foot of the bed, unhappy at being woken up so rudely.

Annie heaved out a sigh, leaning over to pet her kitten in apology. She didn’t even know why she felt this panicked. Probably just another nightmare she couldn’t remember since those were a regular occurrence for her. More so the older she got.

When she was a kid, she always dreamt happy dreams. Dreams that made her smile in the morning when she woke up and left her giddy for the rest of the day. But after she entered middle school, those dreams changed. More often than not, she woke up drenched in cold sweat, sometimes screaming for god knows what reason. She supposed she should be glad she never remembered them.

Now at age 20, she was used to it. Or resigned, more like. She had made peace with the fact that she would always be plagued with nightmares of things she had no idea about, only suspected involved her friends dying. A conclusion she had made from her first instinct upon waking up which was to grab her phone and text every single one of her friends to see if they were okay.

If they were _alive_.

Once when they were in high school, she even had a panic attack because one of her closest friends, Berthold didn’t answer any of her calls or messages for three days. She was absolutely convinced he was dead.

Turned out his family went out of town visit a family member for the week and he forgot his phone at home.

Annie didn’t understand this irrational fear, nor the terrors she apparently saw at night. She didn’t understand it and hated it with a passion.

Letting go of one last deep breath, Annie finally got up to get breakfast, automatically picking up her phone on the way. She had stopped spamming her friends every morning long ago but she had never gotten rid of the anxiety. And so, now she made it a habit to check all of their social media before breakfast instead. It worked well most of the time since some of them, like Eren, Jean, or Reiner, were obsessed with Instagram and had to post a selfie or two every day as soon as they woke up. Sometimes, Annie even got a laugh out of it when Eren managed to coax his grumpy boyfriend into the picture as well. The unhappy faces Levi could make were simply amazing, in Annie’s opinion.

Lighting up the screen on her way to the kitchen, Annie had to blink at the barrage of notifications she had today. Frowning in confusion, she first clicked on the group chat where she had 35 unread messages, and immediately had to smile. She had completely forgotten what day it was today but apparently, her friends didn’t.

“Happy birthday Annie!!!!”

“Here’s to me finally beating you at the gym this next year! Happy Birthday!”

“Hope you didn’t forget about the party today cause we’re gonna get SMASHED!!”

“Finally 21! How does it feel, legal adult?”

The messages went on and on and Annie felt like crying. Somehow, she felt like she didn’t deserve all this attention and love. A feeling of ungrounded guilt nagged at her but she couldn’t tell why. She attributed it to just having woken up from another nightmare as she was usually overwhelmed with emotions she felt like they weren’t hers for a few hours after those.

For now, she only closed the group chat to open another, private one.

“Good morning, Beautiful <3 Happy birthday! Hope you’re looking forward to today.”

Warmth spread from Annie’s chest all the way to her fingertips. She claimed she didn’t care for them but Armin’s pet names and good morning messages always made her feel so happy.

She turned on the coffee maker as she typed her response, wondering all the while exactly what her friends and boyfriend had been planning for today.

They knew she hated surprise parties, so it probably wouldn’t be anything too over the top. And still, Annie wanted to claim she wasn’t looking forward to it. That she hated parties in general, that she hated being the centre of attention, but... she knew it would be a lie.

She loved her friends and even though she sometimes felt like she didn’t deserve them, she basked in the love they gave her back. Or maybe it was exactly because of that feeling.

* * *

Surviving her classes that day was that much easier than it normally was for Annie, with all the additional birthday wishes she kept receiving. Every time she met one of her friends for a shared lecture, they jumped at her and showered her with love. Annie scoffed every time, saying not to make a big deal out of it but she still couldn’t keep the smile away. Especially when Sasha approached her with a guilty look on her face, admitting that she made birthday cookies for her to munch at throughout the day, but then couldn’t resist and ate them herself. Annie actually laughed at that, couldn’t hold back the sound if she wanted to.

By the time evening came, Annie was already thinking that this was possibly the best birthday she’d ever had. And there was _still_ that party to be had.

When her phone dinged with an incoming message, indicating Armin was there to pick her up, she shot one last look in the mirror as she threw her coat over her shoulders. Usually, when she looked at herself, she felt cold. Her eyes especially always seemed so cold and distant to her. But today... Right then, for some reason, she felt warm looking into them in the reflection. And it was then she noticed she was smiling slightly.

And then she realized how happy she was in that moment. Briefly remembering the way she woke up, she had to laugh at the contrast.

That morning, she only felt fear.

Fear and guilt and dread.

And so much _regret_.

However, those emotions were mostly forgotten now, all the birthday wishes she had received and screenshotted carefully emitting warmth and calmness from her phone and into her heart. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was.

Shaking her head at the silly, sentimental thoughts Annie grabbed her keys and left her apartment, calling goodbye to her cat, who ignored her in favour of staring out the window with concentration.

* * *

Arriving to Sasha and Connie’s apartment with Armin, Annie felt a bit nervous. She wasn’t sure why, it wasn’t like this would be the first party her friends threw that she attended, but somehow, she still couldn’t get rid of the remnants of the anxiety she had felt that morning.

“Are you okay?” Armin asked when they stopped in front of the door leading into the apartment, squeezing Annie’s hand in concern.

Annie jumped at the question, pulled out of her thoughts without warning. She looked at Armin, blinking a few times. “No, I’m okay, just. I’m not sure what to expect,” Annie said quietly, vaguely, not understanding her own thoughts enough to explain herself properly.

Armin smiled gently at her, leaning down to give her a light kiss. “It’s going to be okay. Even Sasha and Connie know not to go overboard when it’s about you.”

Annie smiled back, thinking to herself that she might not really mind if they actually _did_ go overboard. Shaking her head, she gestured for her boyfriend that she was ready.

Squeezing her hand one last time, Armin reached out to ring the doorbell and immediately, the door opened only for them both to be showered by loud cheers and screams of “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Annie instinctively took a step back at the sudden noise but after overcoming the initial shock, she started chuckling, letting Connie and Armin drag her inside and into the centre of it all.

However, as soon as Annie stepped inside the tiny, overcrowded living room, she froze. For a second, she felt like she was in another time and place; the cake on the table became smaller, some people seemingly disappeared completely, while others transformed into different versions of themselves.

Eren and Jean now had longer hair while Mikasa’s became shorter. Reiner even grew a beard in a split second.

Everybody’s clothes changed as well, all of them dressed in a similar way as if it was some kind of uniform.

Only the smiles and the hand interlocked with hers stayed the same. As did the banner saying “Happy 21st birthday, Annie!” hanging from the ceiling.

Blinking a few times, the image disappeared as abruptly as it appeared and Annie suddenly felt incredibly weak. Did she just experience some kind of flashback? She didn’t understand what happened but it felt like a hard punch to her gut.

She noticed the smiles on her friends’ faces turn into concerned frowns. And in that moment, she realized she was crying.

“Annie, are you okay?” came Armin’s concerned voice right before his hand came to rest gently on her cheek.

Annie let out a choked laugh, closing her eyes and revelling in the unexplainable feeling of overwhelming relief she felt right then.

“Yeah, I’m just... _really_ happy.”

The words sounded like an echo to her ears, like she had said them before.

And maybe... maybe she really did say them once already, sometime long, long ago.


End file.
